Chapter One – Jade/Marco POV

Jade POV

Only a few short weeks had passed since Kyler’s dinner suggestion. As suspected, things were really only good that night. The following day, I was right back to the shell of myself. However, that night showed me I wasn’t alone. Perhaps that was the only good thing to come of it.

I awoke to light stroking on my hair. Opening my eyes I saw I was cuddled close to Marco. I lifted my head and gazed at him.

“Good morning.” He smiled warmly.

I also smiled, but far more groggily. “Morning. Why are you up so early?”

“It’s nine a.m. mi reina.” He laughed. “I was going to sneak away and make you breakfast, but I’m lazy, so I ordered some take out instead.”

I giggled and rested my head on him again. “You’re silly.”

He sighed. “No. You need it. You need all of the kindness I can give. You’ve been through far too much, and I can’t stand to see you like this.”

I furrowed my brow, staring off at the window. “Like what?” I knew it came out snappy, but of course it did. What was he saying?

“Shhh,” he stroked my hair again. “Don’t get defensive, but that’s what I mean, my love. You’re on edge. You’re sad. I know you disappear to the bathroom to cry. I don’t follow you, because I know you need space. I hear your sobs.” He sighed again, shakily, as if he was also getting emotional. “I just want to be here, to remind you everything is alright. Things will get better. I’m here.”

I felt tears fill my eyes, and I let them fall, burying my face in the blanket as I cried harder, sobbing into it.

He pulled me close, and I buried my face in his neck. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t like being like this, Marco. You know me. I’m never like this! I don’t cry! Ever!”

He rubbed my back. “Shh. Don’t hold your tears back. It’s okay to have emotions. Don’t end up like I was, okay?”

I nodded without a word, sobbing as my tears soaked his hair. He kissed my forehead softly, then rested his head on mine. “I wish there was more I could do.”

“I’m broken,” I whispered.

He wrapped his arms around me. “Jade, what you’re going through is completely understandable. You lost your son, and we can’t revive him. We were stripped of our spellcasting roles. You’re no longer sage. So much happened in such a short time.

I sighed. “I can’t live like this.”

He took in a small gasp that I only heard in his chest. This made more of my tears fall. I couldn’t leave him, but I couldn’t take the pain. Everything I knew, everything I was, it was gone. I was gone.

“Please….d-” Marco stopped himself. “I…I don’t know what to say to make this better. I love you. I want you to be happy. I’m getting you some help.”

I sat up and looked away. “Do what you want. Nothing will bring Orion back.”

He followed, resting his forehead on my shoulder as he softly stroked my arms. “Of course it won’t, but there are healthier ways to cope. I think you need help that I can’t give you.”

I turned my head toward him. “They’ll send me away.”

He gazed into my eyes. “Maybe, but if they do, I’ll visit whenever I’m allowed. It would only be temporary.”

“You…aren’t denying it,” I said, frustrated. “Do you really think I’d be stuck there?” I turned to face him. “Why would you take me if I would be trapped?”

He grabbed my wrists as I became increasingly angrier. “Jade. Jade! Stop. Wait.”

I calmed and looked away, folding my arms like a toddler throwing a tantrum. He put his arms around me, softly planting a kiss on my neck. “I’m not trying to trap you anywhere, but if you feel you’re a threat to yourself, that’s beyond any moral support I can give. I don’t want to make things worse.”

I leaned into him. “Nothing could be worse.” I sighed and hung my head, closing my eyes. “But, it’s nice to know I mean something.”

“Jade.” He tilted my head toward his. “You mean everything to me. You are my everything.”

He kissed me, and I turned to face him, lying down on my back slowly, pulling him with me. I caressed his cheek, tears in my eyes again.

“I love you,” I whispered as they fell.

He closed his eyes and rested his head on mine. “I love you too. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

He pulled me into a hug, and we laid there together, in each other’s arms.

When our food arrived, we sat at the table with Kyler, Ethan and Kyler’s girlfriend, Melody. I had been a little worried about them being together, but Marco calmed me, as he had been doing often as of late. Admittedly, it was nice to see Kyler happy, and with Melody being here so often, she was like a permanent fixture in our home and family.

I stayed silent, keeping my head and eyes down as I ate my pancakes. Truthfully, I didn’t want anything to eat. I wasn’t hungry. I forced myself to eat around my family.

Kyler, Marco and Melody had nice conversations with each other, chatting about life, love and happenings in the realm. Kyler and Melody were both powerful spellcasters, with Kyler taking my place as the sage of alchemy. I did enjoy hearing about their adventures with magic, despite my own fate.

We finished eating, and the kids went off to the realm. I sat on the couch, putting on meaningless TV shows that I wasn’t really going to pay attention to while Marco tidied up. He joined me, pulling me close to him.

“Romantic soap operas, eh?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “Trying to tell me something?”

We hadn’t been sexually intimate since our time as dark rulers in the realm, save maybe once or twice, which I had forced myself to do. The darkness during that time had made us incredibly lusty, and we were very active with each other. After everything that happened, I couldn’t bring myself to be with him again. He was patient with me, though. Making little jokes, but not actually being upset or offended.

“No,” I said simply, staring blankly at the screen. “I’m not even paying attention.”

He smiled sadly, stroking my hair. “Maybe you could do something you enjoy? You’ve never been a TV watcher.”

I shrugged. “I always had something to do, you know? Never a dull moment. Now every moment is dull.”

“Heyyy, you have me!” He playfully nudged me, and I cracked a smile.

“I know, and I’m thankful for that.” I looked at him and caressed his cheek. “No matter how bad life gets, I always have you.”

He leaned in and kissed me. It wasn’t like we hadn’t tried to be intimate, but once we got to a certain point, I stopped us and found something else to do. I just assumed Marco took care of the effects of my teasing in his own time.

However, as usual, I went along with it, and we eventually made our way to the bedroom in case the kids came back. Maybe this time would be different? I mean, it wasn’t like I didn’t want him. My desire was still very strong. I just couldn’t go through with it.

Marco kept it tame. We just kissed, sharing our emotions and feelings without words. We caressed each other’s bodies, and he teased me a little, which I enjoyed, but not as much as I used to. My head and heart just weren’t in it anymore.

Neck kisses were my weakness, and when he moved to it, my desire grew rapidly. I tried to get lost in it like I had so many times before. Maybe I did a few times, biting my lip and gripping his back with my nails, but racing thoughts always got in the way. 

He softly began to tease my skin under my shirt, running his hands up my sides, pushing the fabric up. I followed his lead, but as he began to touch more intimate parts, I stopped him.

“I’m sorry,” I said, sitting up as he did. I fixed my shirt, shivering as I continued to crave him. “I still can’t do this.”

He nodded. “I understand.”

I gazed at him. “How are you so…patient?”

He smiled. “I love you. Sure, our private times are fun.” He leaned in and kissed my neck playfully, prompting a giggle from me. He moved to my lips and spoke softly against them, “but I certainly don’t need them. All I need is you. I don’t care how.”

We kissed again, and he again started to be playful.

“But, since you don’t want that…” he pinned me to the bed with his legs, straddling my body as he began to tickle my ribs.

It started out as giggles as I squirmed under him. “Marco!” I cried as I laughed harder. “No no! Stop! AAAH! You’re so cruel, oh my god!”

He laughed, stopping and resting his head on my chest. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I want revenge.” I grinned, quickly pushing him off and doing the same as I pinned him. He laughed, grabbing my arms and pulling me toward him. Wrapping his arms around me, he kissed me again as we both giggled.

“I’m a little better,” I said quietly. 

He smiled, brushing a strand of my messy hair away from my face. “Good. I’ll go call around for you. Get some rest, okay?”

I nodded, getting off of him and lying down. He got up and pulled the covers over me, moving to the curtains and shutting them to darken the room. He sat on the edge of the bed, gazing at me.

“You know what?”

I looked up at him. “What?”

“You need a vacation.” He smiled.

I nodded. “Yeah, probably.”

“When everything is better, name the destination. I’ll take you.” He leaned in.

I followed, kissing him. “What would I ever do without you?”

He laughed. “Sleep well, my love.”

Marco POV

I may have had a smile on my face, but inside, I was breaking. How did I not see it get this bad? What else could I do than just send her off to some hospital? Would it even help? We were inseperable. I couldn’t be without her. She couldn’t be without me. At least not for this long. 

“Fuck,” I whispered, sitting down and putting my head in my hands. What now? 

Phone calls. Right. I wanted to get advice at the very least. I took out my phone and searched for hospitals. San Myshuno had a crisis ward, but it was small, and according to reviews, really not that good. Inexperienced staff? Nope. Not enough beds or rooms? Nope. People being turned away when they needed serious help? Absolute nope.

So I kept scrolling until I came across the Gallagher Memorial hospital in Newcrest. I read through the reviews. A pretty decent chunk of the building was dedicated to only mental health rehabilitation. Not too shabby. I dialed the number and asked to be transferred to the crisis ward. As I waited on hold, I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling with my raised arm behind my head like a pillow.

“Gallagher Crisis Ward, this is Jenny. Are you inquiring about a patient?”

“Uh, no,” I said, suddenly nervous. “My wife has been through a really hard time in the last month or so, and today she pretty much said she was suicidal. I want to get her help as soon as possible.” I sighed. “I mean, I should get an opinion first, I guess. I don’t really know how these things work.”

Jenny laughed softly. “It’s alright! We are here to help. I know this may be a scary time for the both of you. Rest assured that we will get her the help she needs. Could you give me your name, her name and a brief explanation of what she’s experienced to make her feel this way?”

“Erm, yeah.” I nodded. “My name is Marco, and her nam- wait, sorry. I’m Marco Lew. She’s Jade Lew. Or Hunter. That’s her maiden name.”

“No, sir, we only need her current name. You said that’s Lew? L-E-W?”

“That’s correct.”

“What’s been going on?”

I sighed. I hated explaining her business. It wasn’t my story to tell. “Well, in a nutshell, her son passed away and she and I were str- uhh, well, demoted in our jobs. Maybe fired, I don’t know. Sorry, it’s a complicated situation.”

“That’s totally fine, Marco.” The chipper receptionist seemed to have a smile in her voice. “That’s a large burden to carry for sure. When did she say she was suicidal?”

“Well, she said she didn’t want to live like this anymore, and when I looked at her, she didn’t really clarify,” I explained. “But, she said it today. She’s been acting weird lately. I mean, not weird, but sad. Different than her normal self. She barely eats, doesn’t speak much, doesn’t like…um…take care of herself? I guess? And of course, her smile has faded.”

“I see,” Jenny said. I heard the sound of a keyboard clacking in the background. “Okay, so she can come here any time, but if you want my personal recommendation, this time of day would be the best. She won’t need to wait as long.”

“Oh, right. Good, okay.” I didn’t know what else to say. I only had questions. “Do you think she would be admitted?”

“That’s not for me to decide,” she confessed. 

“Sorry,” I replied, facepalming. 

“Really, it’s okay, Marco,” she said, once again with that smile in her voice. 

“Thanks for your help. I’ll bring her as soon as possible.”

“Sure thing! I can’t wait to meet her.”

And with that, we hung up.

I sighed and stood up, heading to the bedroom.

“Jade,” I said quietly, shaking her. “Change of plan. We’re going to Newcrest.”

She opened her eyes and sat up as I packed a bag for her. I didn’t know how long she would be there, but she would need her things, right? I felt very emotional. My eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t let her see that. 

Be strong for her, Marco. Let it out later.

I blinked and the tears fell onto some papers in the drawer. I glanced at them. Jewel’s adoption papers. Jewel had no idea the state her mother was in. I didn’t know if I was ready to tell her.

But would she even listen? I wasn’t exactly well liked by the spellcasters who didn’t know the story behind the darkness that consumed Jade and I. Somehow they knew that it was beyond Jade’s control. She was forgiven. I, however, didn’t get the same courtesy. 

Further proof that I’m the same evil man they knew or heard about back then. I sighed and slammed the suitcase shut, leaving the room. I quickly went into the bathroom, resting my hands on the counter as I had my head down. I stayed silent as I cried, but crocodile tears fell from my eyes. 

“Why does life have to be so fucking unkind to us?” I growled. “We are good. We did everything right. Why…” my words were cut short by the rising anger within me. “Why the fuck do we always get the short end?” I raised my head, staring at myself in the mirror. I had dark bags under my eyes. My eyes themselves were red and glassy. My face was red in anguish. I looked away. Turning on the water, I splashed some on my face, then stormed out.

Keep it together.

“What’s wrong?” Jade asked, looping her arms under mine and resting her head against my back.

I closed my eyes, feeling an instant sense of calm. God, what would I do without her? I felt more tears. No, god dammit! 

“Marco?” She asked, her voice high with curiosity. “Why are we going to Newcrest?”

I sighed and turned around, caressing her cheek. “I called them and asked about their mental health center. They think you should come in.”

She nodded. “I see.” She turned around and began rummaging for clothes. “Thank you.”

My eyes widened. “Wait, Jade. I’m sorry.”

She turned around. “For?”

“You seem…I don’t know.” I put my arms down, exasperated.

She walked over to me, placing her hand on my cheek. “Marco, you look awful. What happened?”

“It’s nothing, mi amor,” I smiled sadly. “Just tired, you know?”

She tilted her head. Of course she didn’t believe me. “You’re upset.” She kissed my cheek. “Why?”

More tears filled my eyes. No, Marco, not now…

“And your eyes…” she gazed at me, concerned. “Are you crying?”

I shook my head no, a failed attempt at a lie. She turned on the light and came back over, seeing my very apparent bloodshot and glassy eyes.

“What’s wrong?” She inquired sadly.

I felt my lips tremble and more tears well up in my eyes. I looked away, letting them fall. “Uh, it’s…” I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat, hoping it would cure the shakiness of my voice. “It’s nothing, okay? I just need sleep. Maybe an..uhh, allergy pill or something.”

She stepped in front of me, seeing the very clear tear tracks on my cheeks. Tears fell from her eyes too. “Tell me.”

“Jade, I don’t w-want to,” I choked out. “I just want you to- to be okay, and this isn’t helping.” I felt anger rise again. “God DAMMIT!” I wiped my eyes again. “You need me to be strong, but-“

She stopped me by hugging me tightly. “I love you.”

I broke down. I couldn’t help it. I felt horrible too, because she cried with me. She didn’t need this. She didn’t need more tears.

“I love you too.” I managed to get it out before I choked on my shaky breaths again. “I just…I want you to be happy.” I sighed, trying to control my emotions. “But you’re not. And I just want life to be normal for you. You’ve been through so much, and it’s not fair.”

She pulled away and looked at me with a sad smile. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here right now. You just being you has saved me so many times now. Just keep being you. And don’t be afraid to cry. I’m thankful you’re so worried.”

I furrowed my brow and looked at the floor. Just knowing that she thought that way felt like a knife cutting my heart out.

Without warning, she pulled me into a kiss. It was almost frenzied, like she hadn’t seen me in a long time. I wrapped my arms around her, but she pushed my arms down, taking my hands as she kissed me again and again. She began to sway our arms playfully, and we both started to laugh. 

“Better?” She asked.

I wiped her tears and smiled a little. “Yeah…” Admittedly, I was. Even in her darkest moments, she did all she could to make me feel better. It was her selfless personality that made me fall for her, and keep the sparks between us burning for so long. 

We finished packing her things and headed out for the train.

“How long do you think I’ll be there?” She gazed out the window as the train took off from the station. 

“We don’t know if you’ll be admitted,” I replied, pursing my lips. 

She sighed. “I think we both know I will be. How long do you think?”

I hung my head. “As long as it takes.”

She smiled and rested her head on me. “You’ll visit?”

“Every day, my love,” I agreed with a nod. “If I had my way, I’d stay with you, but I know I can’t.”

Her eyes widened. “The boys. And Em. They don’t know.”

“Shhh.” I caressed her cheek. “I’ll tell them, and I’m sure they will visit too.”

She nodded and gazed back out the window. “I hope so.”

The check-in at the hospital was quick. Jade was brought in to be evaluated right away.

“Can…can my husband be here too?” She asked sheepishly. 

“In the room with us?” The nurse asked. “Yes, of course, if that’s what you want. However, if you’re admitted, he can’t stay with you.”

She nodded and gazed at the floor while I looked away, hurt and angry. I knew the answer already, but hearing it crushed a part of my spirit.

The nurse carried on with the evaluation, and to no one’s surprise at all, Jade was admitted. I stayed with her as long as I was allowed, but I would inevitably be going home alone.

She laid down in the bed provided for her in her room. The lights were dim and the sun was going down. I sat in a chair nearby, gazing out at the purple clouds hanging over the orange and red sky. 

“Lay with me?” She asked quietly.

I stood up. “Of course.” I got onto the small hospital bed and laid beside her. She turned to face me, and cuddled close.

“I don’t want you to go,” she said. 

“I don’t want to either.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You can’t help this.”

“You’re sad, and it’s because I can’t let go of the past.”

“Jade.” I tilted her head up to mine. “He was your son. Of course you’d feel this way. Please, don’t treat yourself this way.”

She sighed. “Kiss me. Make me forget this.”

I leaned in, kissing her softly. She pulled me closer, into a deeper kiss. 

“Don’t leave me,” she whispered against my lips. “Please.”

I rested my forehead on hers. Her words painted me, but I wasn’t going to say that to her. Ever. “I have no choice. But I’ll visit you all the time, I promise.”

The nurse came in and crossed her arms. “Mr. Lew, visiting hours are coming to a close.”

I got up. “Right. I’ll be on my way.” I leaned in and hugged Jade. “I’ll see you soon mi reina. I promise you.”

She nodded with tears in her eyes.

The train ride home was slower than the ride there. I had so many racing thoughts. I was sad, but growing angrier, still dwelling on how unfair life had been to Jade.

I stepped into the apartment. It was dark and quiet. Of course it was. Everyone was still in the realm. This made me feel worse. I curled my lip angrily.

“Aaaarghh!” I roared, slamming my fist into the wall. “This is bullshit! All of it!”

My adrenaline wore off almost instantly and the pain in my hand became very evident. I hadn’t had an outburst like that in a long time. I placed my other hand on it without thinking. I tried to heal it and realized I didn’t have magic.

“Ugh. Right.” I sighed. I wrapped it up in a bandage and went to bed, taking a couple painkillers before falling asleep. I’d make an appointment the next day, and I made a mental note to never punch brick again.

Chapter Two (Click Here!)