Chapter Twelve
Peace? – Jade/Marco/Kyler/Ethan POV
Jade POV
As the weeks went on, with no obligation to be in the place that gave me the most nightmares, I felt a little better. At least on and off. I never knew if it was temporary, or if I had actually been into something, leaving magic behind.
My relationship with Marco, however, was still strained. My anger had given way to fear. I was afraid to touch him, especially intimately. Afraid that every light stroke could break him. I couldn’t lose him again. One of these times…he just wouldn’t come back. Like my son. He would never come back. And it was my fault.
Alright, maybe I wasn’t fully better.
Marco seemed to understand, but I could see even he was a bit frustrated with this. And why wouldn’t he be? I mean, we had a weird, tumultuous relationship. Started out hating each other from the jump, later falling head over heels for each other due to a perfect storm of events, acting like newlyweds and unable to keep our hands to ourselves, and now I had it set in my mind that I could break him. He was my favorite antique glass art piece, and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to preserve him.
But he wasn’t. He was a human, like me. But losing all ability to save him when things went terribly wrong made me view him as something I needed to hide from the world, and I, myself, handle delicately.
I spent my days trying my hand at social media content. Posting about life with, then without magic. It did get me some recognition, which I enjoyed, however nothing truly filled that void in my heart. No, my soul. My core. My being. No matter how ‘famous’ I got from this, nothing ever fixed what I broke.
To his credit, Marco was incredibly kind, despite my distance. He knew he wasn’t to blame. I reminded him all the time. I think he just didn’t know how to help, and I didn’t know how to guide him. For the first time in my life, I was lost. I had no idea what I needed or wanted.
I sat on our sofa one night, blankly staring at the TV, not paying attention to anything, as Marco sat beside me. He put his arm around me, and I tried to lean in, but alarm bells wailed in my head. Too close! Too close! I tried to ignore them, but knew I couldn’t forever.
Marco seemed to notice my hesitation, my body turning rigid, my movements completely still. “Jade,” he said softly. “Nothing you could do to me could hurt me.”
I scowled. “I have.” I studied the rug at our feet. “Many times.”
Marco chuckled a bit. “Alright, fair, but things are different now.” He leaned in, tucking my hair away from my cheek as he brushed his lips softly against it. “I know you would never-”
My heart was racing. I stopped listening as panic began to envelope my entire body. His soft, whispered words and even lighter whispered kisses caused an intense conflict within me. My body was responding, but my mind didn’t want it to. The final words of his spiel echoed through my mind. “I just miss you.”
I couldn’t stop the panic. Finally, I scooted away from him, letting his draped arm flop onto the couch. “I’m sorry, Marco.” I finally looked at him. “I just can’t.”
He was certainly disappointed, but ever understanding, he nodded. “Alright. I’m sorry.”
I cautiously took his hand. “Don’t be. This isn’t your doing, but I can’t stop it. So actually, I’m sorry.”
He nodded and stood up, heading to the kitchen for a snack. Or something. Maybe just to get away from me. I wanted to get away from me, too, but I didn’t have that luxury. I couldn’t blame him. After all, things were so different now. I sighed and stood up, following him to the kitchen. Truth be told, I missed him too, and frankly, I felt bad for the way I was acting.
I gently rubbed his shoulder, and immediately felt him tense up. He turned around and gazed at me, uncertainty in his eyes. “Jade.” He took my hand and kissed it softly. “You don’t have to do this.”
Maybe I should have listened, but I was on a mission. I reached up and caressed his cheek. “Yes, I do.”
Before I knew it, his lips were on mine, as if he had been waiting for this moment for a century. I couldn’t deny, it did feel good. But at the same time, I felt that fear welling up in me. I knew where this would lead. I knew what would happen. And I could lose him. I felt tears fill my eyes, but I didn’t stop myself.
“I’m not fragile,” Marco whispered, slight amusement in his voice. “I promise.”
I nodded, but my tears fell, which he quickly brushed away with his thumb. “Come on.” He took my hand, leading me to our room. My heart pounded so hard, I thought it might break out of my chest.However, I was committed to this.
It didn’t take long before we were undressed, in each other’s arms, just like so many times before. So many times, in darkness and in light alike. However, this time, it didn’t feel right. It felt good, sure, but I couldn’t help but think that something was terribly wrong. My eyes met his, and I watched his expression shift again. He pulled away and simply pulled me into his arms, tugging the blankets around us. He was giving up. For me.
As he fell asleep, I finally let myself cry. Softly, into my pillow, so I wouldn’t disturb him. I was so scared that he could die again, that I felt I may lose him in other ways, the more I pushed him away. However, I truly couldn’t force myself to want him intimately.
Maybe I really did need help.
Marco POV
Sunlight filled my eyes, waking me up. Jade was still asleep, and not in good shape. I watched her, saddened to see how her own sadness just permeated through her sleep, her body, her face. I stroked her cheek softly. I wasn’t willing to let her go, no matter how much she struggled. It was so incredibly hard to watch her struggle, but I made a commitment, and I would absolutely never break that.
To my surprise, Jade responded to my touch. She rolled over and faced me, giving me a sleepy smile. I returned her smile, continuing to stroke her cheek as I leaned in and softly brushed my lips against hers. Another surprise; her lips parted and her hand was instantly on the back of my head, pulling me closer. I couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh, obliging her desire. I had no idea where this would lead, if anywhere, but I didn’t mind where it was headed, regardless.
We kissed and touched, without a word. Almost without a sound, gradually leading to more. However, we had made it to this stage a few times, before stopping. This morning, though, things felt different.
After a few moments, she playfully pushed me back, climbing onto me and lowering herself. I watched her, biting my lip a bit. Okay, we hadn’t made it this far since before the incident in the the realm. I let her move, at her own pace. After all, she was afraid of breaking me. I didn’t want to make that fear worse. My hands simply traveled, delicately, across her body. The room filled with the soft rustling of blankets and even softer sounds we made, until finally, we finished. Almost together. I pulled her down to me, gently, kissing her with all I had, as if to ground her and reassure her that everything was okay. I was still here. I wasn’t going anywhere.
I felt her tears on my cheeks, and just like the night before, I brushed them away. “I love you,” I whispered softly. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, resting her head on my chest. “Yeah, I’m alright. Are you?”
I couldn’t help but laugh softly. “Oh yeah, definitely.” My expression turned more serious. “But you didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” she replied quietly. “But I don’t know if I will want to…often.”
I nodded. “That’s okay.”
And there we had it. I was thankful she was feeling better enough to allow herself to be intimate, but I understood why it wouldn’t be the same as it once was.
Her emotions shifted significantly over the next few weeks. I was there for her as much as I could be, but I absolutely couldn’t understand what she was dealing with. However,
I knew better than to suggest help again, so I stayed away from that. Watching her go back and forth left me feeling helpless, though. I wished I could do more, but I had no idea what to do.
Kyler and Ethan helped out often, and always made sure to hug her longer, tighter, each day. She was always in high spirits after they had been around, which I loved, however, her mood would shift again not too long after.
I really hoped, after everything that had happened, she would be alright. She needed to be alright. She was always the strongest among us, and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough for her to pass the torch to me.
And always, as soon as her mood would get better, it got worse again. She would cry herself to sleep, she would pull away from me. I had to admit, I missed the way she was, and I wasn’t sure if we would ever see that version of her again.
I just knew, whatever happened from here, I would be there for her. No matter what.
Kyler POV
Mom wasn’t alright, and we all knew it. However, knowing how to help was something none of us had under our belts. I could see it was even taking a toll on Dad. I mean, let’s be real here; Mom was our glue. She always had been. What happens when the glue fails?
Ethan and I tried to help as best we could. We didn’t tell her that we had taken over her role in the magic realm, though. She didn’t need any more reminders of what happened to Orion. And sure, we weren’t exactly Orion’s biggest fan, but he was her son, her first born. We had no way of understanding, and therefore helping. Mom needed professional help, but she refused to get it.
So we just….let it happen. In hindsight, this wasn’t the best idea, of course, but what else could we do?
I didn’t have much time to figure it out though. Being the sage of alchemy certainly kept me busy. Morgyn trained me to be a teacher, and there was a ton of paperwork. I loved every second of it, though, and embraced my role fully. Ethan helped. He technically wasn’t the sage, but he was my closest advisor, and even helped teach lessons, since he was a bit more personable than I was. I was incredibly thankful for that. We were the yin and yang, the peanut butter and jelly. That’s all that mattered.
Morgyn approached me one day, though, after classes had ended, and I was at my desk, grading a recent test.
“Kyler, could I talk to you?”
I nodded. “Sure, Morgyn. What’s up?”
He sat at a desk in the front row, dragging his finger along the edge as he tried to find the words to talk to me. “How’s your mom? I know I don’t generally ask you about your personal life, but no one has heard from her at all since she left, and I just want to make sure she’s alright.”
All of the words began to run together on the paper, and I put my pen down. How could I answer that? How would Mom want me to answer that, even? “I…uh…” I paused, sighing as I looked up at Morgyn. “She’s…really not okay.”
Morgyn looked at the floor, his usually radiant, green eyes now hazy and dark. “I figured. That’s what I was afraid of.”
I nodded, echoing his sadness. “Honestly, we don’t know what to do. We try to help and be there for her, but no one truly understands what that kind of loss feels like. Even Dad is struggling to help her.”
Morgyn’s eyes grew darker still at the mention of my father. “To be fair…” he grumbled. Shaking his head and pursing his lips, he stopped. “No, sorry, I’m not going to say that.”
I felt my heart speed up and my face get warmer with anger. “You were going to say it was his fault.”
Morgyn shook his head. “No, not…entirely.”
I stood up. “But you felt he was at least partially responsible?”
Morgyn glared at me, but I could see fear in his eyes as well. “Kyler.”
“No! I’m tired of people thinking my father is a villain, still, when he has proven time and time again that he’s not!” I slammed my fist down on the desk. “He stole your woman. He was brainwashed, and from what I’ve heard, the relationship was on the rocks anyway. He took over the realm, died, was brought back, only to find that his wife was a different person and her first born was killed by her own hand! Once again, he was brainwashed! What the fuck is your problem with him? The fact that people want him to be bad so badly that they make sure he is? Tell me, how is that his fault, Morgyn?”
Morgyn was taken aback, his eyes wide and face red with embarrassment. “I…when you put it that way…”
“You what? Feel like an asshole?” I growled back. “Maybe you should.”
Morgyn stood up and walked out without a word. I felt slightly guilty over my outburst, but I really was so tired of people thinking my father was a horrible person, when he was simply put into these positions by others. I sat back down and took a deep breath. When I picked up my pen, it trembled with my hand, and I growled in frustration. I didn’t even want to be here anymore. I would just take my work home with me.
When I headed downstairs, Morgyn was nowhere to be found. This made my guilt a bit stronger, but I tried to ignore it. Was I wrong for going off? I sighed. It didn’t matter now. I did what I did and said what I said. It couldn’t be taken back. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to take it back. Mom had been through a lot already, and Dad had been mentally prosecuted over and over again. This wasn’t his fault. He tried to fight it.
Walking into my house, I flopped into my bed and let the book fall out of my hand onto the nightstand, with a loud thud. Em came in, gazing at me with hesitation and concern. “Are you alright?”
I nodded, motioning for her to come closer. “Yeah, I’m good, babe. Just had a bit of a heated conversation with Morgyn.”
Em sat down beside me, her blue eyes surprised and following my every move. “You aren’t like…fired, are you?”
“Oh, nah nah.” I chuckled softly. “Nothing like that.” I went on to explain what happened and my feelings around it. Em took my hand as I spoke.
“Your father is a good man, Kyler. He would be overjoyed to hear you stood up for him.” Em smiles warmly, resting her head on my shoulder.
I smiled back, closing my eyes. Em always had a way of calming me, reminding me that there was beauty all around, and I was a lucky…no wait, the luckiest guy to have such beauty right in my home.
“Did you go see your mom today?” Em asked, softly.
I shook my head. “No, no. I couldn’t with how I was after leaving the realm. The last thing she needs is more negativity.”
Em nodded. “So you think she will ever get professional help?”
This question made a seating pain shoot through every nerve ending of my body. Then, overwhelming dread. I of course hoped she would, but for starters, she lashed out at anyone who suggested that, and second, it’s not exactly a secret what mental health can do to a person. I wanted my thoughts to stop. I didn’t want to think of my mother potentially being a danger to herself like that. My voice was meek when I finally spoke. “Uh…I hope so.”
I felt Em softly rubbing my back. She knew she had hit a nerve, and we stayed quiet for awhile, unsure of how to move forward from such a painful thought.
“Maybe I’ll do something with her tonight,,” I finally said, my thoughts racing horribly. Nah, Mom was resilient. There was no way she would let this take her down.
Right?
I headed out to the living room to see Mom on the sofa, working on a cross stitch. I smiled a bit. Mom hadn’t really had any non-magical hobbies, so to see her picking up something new almost made me want to head back into the bedroom and let her work. She was focused, her eyes staring intensely at the canvas, her perfectionism radiating from her as she made sure not to miss any detail, to fine tune each stitch.
I sat down slowly beside her, so as not to disturb her focus or work. “It looks nice.” I smiled.
Mom genuinely smiled back, her crimson eyes lighting up with a glow I hadn’t seen in a long time. “You think so? I followed a tutorial on YouTube, until I started to get the hang of it.”
I laughed softly. “What’s up for dinner tonight? Do you know?” I wasn’t just making small talk. I had a plan.
Mom thought for a moment. “I don’t think there’s any plan. Why? Are you craving something?”
I smiled. “Yes, actually. I’m craving a nice meal, out with my family.”
Mom put the cross stitch down, a beaming smile on her face. “Kyler! That’s so sweet!” She ruffled my hair, making us both laugh a bit. For a moment, it felt like she was okay, but I knew getting my hopes up would only let us all down.
So, we all went out for dinner that night. Mom, Dad, Em, Ethan and I. A big, family dinner at the best Italian place in town. We chatted, more than we had in a long time, we laughed, and the entire focus was on Mom. It was…well, ‘nice’ would be an understatement. It was perfect. It was truly fantastic to have my family back. No more Orion drama, no more evil forces. Just family, fun, and the closeness we had always had. Even if it was only temporary.
Ethan POV
Kyler was really onto something here. Mom was a different person than she had been in weeks. She was the Mama we knew and remembered. Under the table, we low-fived, in order for me to show my appreciation.
After dinner, we walked down to the docks behind the restaurant. I glanced over to see Dad holding Mom as they looked out over the river, their fingers intertwined, and their bodies gently swaying, as if slow dancing while they gazed. Kyler gave me a knowing smirk, which made me chuckle. We decided to head back into the city and give Mom and Dad some alone time.
Em took Kyler’s hand. “The produce stand is open.” she led us to it without waiting for a response, and Kyler and I stood back as she bought one of each fruit and vegetable they had to offer. Walking back to us as she munched on an apple, she smiled. “You know I can’t resist.”
Kyler laughed. “You’re obsessed.”
“Damn right!” She took another bite before rummaging through her bag and handing us each a piece of fruit. “It’s like farmer’s market stuff. So good. Better than the grocery store.”
I unpeeled the banana she gave me as Kyler bit into a plum. As I took a bite, we both agreed with her. What seemed like something so mundane was actually quite amusing. Bad vibes were gone, Mom seemed to be feeling better, at least for now, and frankly, I was thankful that I had a second shot at life. Kyler was quickly becoming the glue Mom had been. He just didn’t realize it, because, like Mom, he was humble. What Mom couldn’t fix, Kyler could.
Mom and Dad found us a short time later, and we headed back to the fashion district to go home. Mom and Dad disappeared for the night, and we headed upstairs and away to not disturb them. After all, we had snacks to share.
For the moment, it felt that all was right with the world, and I truly hoped it would stay this way. For now, we could all sleep soundly, knowing that mostly everything was right with the world. And that’s what mattered.
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