“Happy Birthday, dear Eva! Happy Birthday to you!” A chorus of my friends and family sang to me. I smiled happily, because if there was anything I loved the most, it was having good people with me on the biggest birthday of my life. Age eighteen. I blew out the candles and everyone cheered, with some wrapping their arms around me in a gentle hug.
Tusk beamed at me as the guests started to leave. “Welcome to the eighteen club.” He patted me on the back.
I laughed. “I’m not so sure this is a good thing.” At first, I was joking, but then it hit me. Was it a good thing? At eighteen, we stopped aging, at least until we found our soulmates.
Soulmate. My heart began to race. What if I didn’t find mine? Or worse, what if I didn’t have one? My brain filled with these thoughts, each one worse than the last, of all the ways I may have ended up with no one, forever eighteen and never growing old. After all, that’s what we all wanted, and the thought of me not having it was nothing short of terrifying.
“Eva?” Trish’s voice snapped me from my anxiety-induced reverie. “Are you alright?”
My eyes darted to her. “I…yeah, I think so. I just, I got thinking about this. I’m eighteen. I haven’t found my soulmate. What if I never do?”
Trish scoffed. “Meh, consider it a blessing if you don’t. After all, then you could be young forever. You wouldn’t even die! Ever. I’d say that’s a good thing, no?”
Our whole friend group turned their attention to Trish, confused expressions and even narrowed eyes in suspicion from all of us. “You what?” Ryan finally asked. “A good thing? In what world is being alone good?”
I had to agree. We had heard of Earth, a far off realm where they aged without finding soulmates, and the subject of love there was nothing short of a dumpster fire. Here, it was perfect. Hardly any divorce, and genuinely happy people who found love and showed it, loudly and proudly. And even if they didn’t express their happiness, their age would do it for them. How was this a bad thing?
Trish shrugged. “I don’t know, man, I just don’t like the idea of getting older, y’know? Stay young, beautiful, and I mean…the thought of dying doesn’t appeal to me. Immortality is where it’s at.”
Tusk glared at her. “Weird way of thinking, but okay. I mean, we don’t judge. It’s just not what I want.”
Ryan and I nodded in agreement, and Trish rolled her eyes. “Suit yourself,” she grumbled, standing up. “I should get heading home anyway.”
We watched her leave, surprised. She had never just gotten up like that, and we had some pretty heated discussions during our years of friendship.
“Wow, she’s pretty passionate about not finding someone, eh?” Tusk smirked, sitting back on the couch and propping his feet up on the coffee table. “Could never be me.”
I laughed. “Right? The idea of love is so…” I trailed off, dreamily sighing. “Wonderful.”
Ryan agreed. “Absolutely. And the rest of our lives kinda depend on it, to boot.”
This sent my anxiety in a tailspin again. “Well, when you…when you say it like that, Ryan…” I began biting my nails.
“Hey, hey.” Ryan put his arm around me, comfortingly. “You’ll find someone. You literally just turned eighteen. It’s not like you need to have someone right this second. Give it time.”
I sighed. “Sure. Okay.” He was right, but there were people all around us who continued aging even after turning eighteen, simply because they were already spoken for before their birthday. I felt stuck, literally and figuratively, but I didn’t want to keep droning on the subject in front of them. I decided to just journal about it later and enjoy the good company in the moment.
When they left, I went to my room, picking up another slice of cake on the way. I sat down at my desk to write out my entry, making sure to add every single thought my brain had conjured up since blowing out my candles. When I finished, I sighed, resting my head in my arms on the desk, trying to drown out the intrusive, anxious thoughts that swirled in my mind yet again, never even giving me a chance to calm them and think the way Ryan and Tusk did. Or even Trish. What I would give to think like her, and be that carefree about this. Sighing again, I got up and laid down on my bed. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.
School the next day was difficult, to say the least. I felt like all eyes were on me, but realistically, they weren’t. I suddenly felt like I had so many expectations, and maybe I did, but they weren’t expectations placed upon me by others. I was actively doing this to myself. The worst part was, I couldn’t stop it.
At lunch, Tusk, Ryan, Trish and I sat at the same table, eating the same bland food, and talking about the same subjects. Which school subjects sucked the most, which teachers clearly had it out for us, and how excited we were to graduate. Trish seemed better than the day before, and she didn’t even try to bring up that subject again. I assumed she felt like she was outnumbered, which was correct, of course, and therefore didn’t plan to revisit the subject.
Ryan broke into our monotonous banter with an excited “Oh!”
I smiled at him, waiting for him to continue.
“Did I tell you guys about the letter?” He asked, his voice high with curiosity and delight.
I furrowed my brow, in thought. “I don’t think so.” The others shook their heads ‘no’.
Ryan smiled gleefully. “I was accepted into Edgewater!”
I nearly dropped my fork onto my tray. “That’s fantastic!” Edgewater was a prestigious school for incredibly gifted students. I had no doubt in my mind that Ryan was one of them, but with an extensive waiting list and people willing to gouge eyes out just to go there, I thought he would have to go with his safety school instead. With this news in tow, I stood up and hugged him tightly. “You’ll do great there. You’ll fit right in.”
The others joined me, and we shared a group hug, right there in the cafeteria. Ryan smiled tearfully as we pulled away. “Thanks guys. I’m really gonna miss you though.”
I felt tears fill my eyes as well. “Come on, don’t do that.” I chuckled, blinking them away. “Or you’re gonna make me cry right with you.”
We all laughed together, sitting back down to resume our lunch.
“I say we celebrate,” Trish said with a smile. “I just got a raise at work, so we could do dinner, on me?”
My eyes widened. “Trish, you don’t-”
“Ah, ah!” She held her finger up and pointed her nose to the ceiling. “I don’t want to hear it! I want to pay, so I will pay. Capisce?”
I chuckled softly at her playfulness. “Sure.”
“That’s a great idea,” Tusk agreed. “Where and when?”
“Ryan’s choice!” Trish beamed at him.
Ryan laughed nervously. “I uh…I’ll have to go with Salmon Cove.”
Tusk turned up his nose. “That seafood joint? Thank God they also have chicken.”
Ryan laughed. “Expand your mind, T. They just don’t cook seafood anywhere else like they do in the Cove.”
“You sound like a walking advertisement,” Trish joked, playfully shoving Ryan.
The bell rang, causing us all to jump. We had completely lost track of time, and our conversation and dinner plans were cut short. We scrambled to grab our bags and throw away our trays, hurriedly making our way to our next classes. For me, it was science, and I couldn’t even focus on my work. The thought of dinner with my friends, celebrating Ryan’s fantastic news just made me sit, staring off into space, with a grin from ear to ear.
And that grin persisted well into the evening, as I dressed up to meet my friends at Salmon’s. I was admittedly feeling much better than I had been since the night before, and being genuinely happy for Ryan was helping that. That was typical with me; absolute crisis one day, but then resolved and “not so bad” the next. I had no qualms with this, of course, as tonight was a big night.
I gazed at myself in the mirror after putting in my contacts. I hated these things, but they were better than my thick framed “nerd” glasses. Normally, I liked them, but tonight, I needed something different. I pulled my hair back into a half ponytail, letting the rest of my hair fall over my shoulders. Pleased with this, my makeup and my outfit, I grabbed my keys and purse, told my parents where I was off to, and left with their car.
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